If you're still alive, my regrets are few.

This has been the weirdest weekend of my life. I find myself analyzing everything, looking to catch the moment when I can feel the love I've felt. Yesterday I woke up, got coffee with my sister and mother and there was an atomic explosion in Sara's cappuccino. The cute grad student sitting next to me was threatening, and there was a transvestite sitting to my right. Completely absurd, and a bitter taste in my mouth. Spewing harsh words, seeing fire everywhere. Then I fell asleep last night seeing diamonds on my ceiling. I didn't want anybody, I didn't need anything. I felt adequately cuddled and content. When I woke up this morning I tried to stop my brain, but my tears just won't quit. I'll be ok. It will be a little less every day, then before you know it I'll be a sexless cyborg and I'll think of these times and shake my head at myself.



I keep trying to post things but they're always too hard for me to reread and I just end up posting them as private. Nobody needs this dirty laundry aired out in their friend page! But I've been writing nonstop, so it's a good thing. A caress, a look of the eyes: these are the things I want to remember, that I will cherish.